I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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