he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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