I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Randomize
