Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
