you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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