so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
