Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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