just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
