We're like a lot better than the average bears
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
