Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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