Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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