I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
