I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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