I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
