If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
