You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
