And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
No I am not eating basil off your cock
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Your cock deserves a montage
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
