she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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