To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
where am i from again
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You took a bar mat shot.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
