thus making me awesome and them whores
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
