his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
