Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
