We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
