My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
