I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
