Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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