Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
