What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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