I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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