gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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