he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize