im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
