Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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