Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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