Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
