brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
