awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
