hell yes lets make some ravioli
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
