You just made me feel so damn special
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
