around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
