I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
