Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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