i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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