Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
