he wants to bone in the snuggie
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
