You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
