Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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