I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize