dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
