Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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