wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize