You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Is it penis luge time yet?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Alive.
So much puke
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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