Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
