Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
