She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
