That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Randomize