I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
