Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
this will be a night to untag.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
