Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
