What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I stole a fireplace last night.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
