Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
