he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
