my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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