Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
