no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
